MQ Ambassador profiles: meet Rachael Ferdinand

In a series of profiles, we at MQ Mental Health Research would like to introduce to you some of our wonderful MQ Ambassadors. These are the individuals who support our charity organisation and lend their voices of lived experience expertise of mental illness.

MQ Ambassador Rachael Ferdinand, who is also a mental health support worker, chatted to us to share her experience of mental health conditions and why she became interested in MQ Mental Health Research.

Rachael, thank you so much for chatting with us. Firstly, what are your interests and favourite things about being alive?

I have just moved to Bristol and am spending time exploring the city. I love art and attend art exhibitions and go to drawing classes; my current favorite artist is Yayoi Kusama whose artwork is inspired by her past trauma and mental health struggles. Additionally, I don’t mind going to the pub for a drink after work!

When did you first experience symptoms of mental health distress? What were those symptoms?

I have struggled with chronic pain for several years, meaning I experience pain most days and when it first developed, I was in pain 24/7. Living in constant pain is debilitating and tiring and did lead to depression, especially as it took a while to secure a diagnosis and there was no clear path to better health. It also caused anxiety when I had to leave my home as I was worried if I could take part in activities without experiencing too much pain or feeling tired.

What stigma have you faced, if any?

With chronic pain, people cannot see or feel your physical and mental pain and so when I had to cancel plans or could not go to work, it was hard for those around me to understand the challenges I was facing. I did feel exhausted a lot of the time; the medication I was prescribed at the time made me tired and leaving the house without home comforts where things are not as predictable can be a very daunting idea.

Everyone needs help with managing mental health conditions. What have you found helpful and why?

I found speaking to others suffering from chronic pain and depression helped me to feel seen and that my feelings were valid and understood by others; it was also useful to find out if they had any tips or tricks to help.

My pain management doctor and osteopath were also essential in helping me deal with and cope with my pain. Any type of talking therapy such as DBT/CBT is crucial during these times otherwise you cannot deal with your emotions and mental pain appropriately- especially if you find it difficult to talk to friends and family about these topics.

What do you do to better manage your symptoms and mental well-being?

Self-care is crucial to help manage depression and pain. Starting the day off on a positive note is very important. I try to stretch each morning to wake up my body and mind and to release tensions that build up overnight in my muscles.

I also try to practise mindfulness but this can be hard and takes time and practice to build up, so I would always start with only a few minutes each day and try to build up from there – apps such as Headspace are really useful for this.

Keeping a pain diary did help because over time, I could see real evidence that my physical and mental health was improving.

At night I try to not look at any screens to calm my mind down and I also like to lie on something called a ‘Shakti matt’ which imitates acupuncture and helps calm down the nervous system; research has proven that it reduces your heart rate and feelings of stress – also they are not badly priced! In addition, CBD oil and heat pads are also super helpful for this.

These all sound like a great help, but would you agree that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to mental or physical health?

It is important to note, of course, that what works for one person may not work for all and if medication is needed to help deal with your mental health condition, that is still a form of self-care, as you are doing what is best for you personally. Sometimes a combination of both calming techniques and medication is exactly what one needs to combat their mental health conditions.

What lessons have you learned from your mental illness experience?

I have discovered that I can be strong and resilient when facing challenges in regard to chronic pain and struggles with my mental health and during this period, I managed to complete my master’s in Psychological Sciences and maintain my job supporting others. I have also learnt that our mental health is the most important thing we have and that it is critical that we take good care of it.

How have recent years affected your mental health and management of your condition?

The pandemic was a very difficult time as access to healthcare was very limited and extremely difficult. It can take months just to get a referral to a clinician and to get any sort of access to mental health services can take years. Additionally, with everything being online you definitely lose the personal touch and connection.

The pandemic was also a very difficult time for anyone struggling with anxiety or depression as it worsened many people’s health anxiety and forced many to become further socially and physically isolated which can be detrimental to one’s mental health.

What are you looking forward to in your future?

I am looking forward to helping others who are experiencing similar struggles to me. I think it’s so important to be able to meet and interact with others who can empathise and understand your position and how you are feeling as well as what may help or push you back in your progress. I am also looking forward to educating people on how they can best support their loved ones, employees and friends and create a safe environment so that people feel that they can open up and communicate their issues or challenges.

What do you wish had been researched before you developed your condition?

There needs to be much more research into combatting the development of mental health conditions in people suffering from chronic pain as many of us are left to fend for ourselves and accessing adequate support can be very challenging.

Current research is limited, and no novel ideas or interventions have been put forward in recent years. Chronic pain is not a well-researched area and so receives little funding even though around 8 million adults in the UK report chronic pain that is moderate to severely disabling and costs the UK economy £10 billion yearly. Greater funding and attention to chronic pain research can pave the way for more effective treatments.

Sometimes people might think recovery is a straight, dependable linear line of progress. When you look back at your mental health experience, how would you describe your ongoing journey (of recovery/of challenges)?

Reflecting on my mental health journey, I’ve learned that recovery isn’t a linear path. My recovery took a long time, it’s been a rollercoaster of progress, setbacks, and growth. I would have a really difficult few weeks where I regress back and it felt like all the progress I had made had been lost, but this wasn’t the case.

Each time I had to tell myself that it would get better again and over time my dips started to get smaller and smaller and less severe, allowing for progression and healing. One critical component which drove my recovery was having a very supportive partner, close friends and family around me to help keep me going.

Our thanks to Rachael for sharing her story, highlighting just why research matters for mental health and why the work MQ Mental Health Research does must continue.