How to Stop Fighting in a Relationship — Talkspace

8 Ways to Stop & Prevent Fights in Your Relationship

If you and your partner fight all the time, arguing can start to feel inevitable — but it’s important to remember that you can learn how to avoid arguments in a relationship. Here are a few effective strategies that can help you stop fights before they start.

1. Give each other space

While you do need to make a point to talk through issues, you don’t have to (and probably shouldn’t) discuss things when emotions are high. When you’re angry at each other, it’s more likely that one or both of you will lash out or make hurtful comments. It may seem like a small thing to do, but take some time to take a deep breath and tackle the topic once you’re both calm. You’ll likely avoid a heated argument and those irrational, hurtful things you might’ve wanted to say to your partner at the time have subdued.

2. Don’t worry about being right

Really, there are no winners when you argue with your partner. Just because you may be on the “right” side of an issue doesn’t mean you win. Sometimes, letting go of your desire to be right is necessary if you want to learn how to stop fighting in a relationship. Try to look at things from the perspective that you and your partner are a team — you’ll both win if you’re able to find a compromise to the issue that you’re dealing with.

3. Try to become a better listener

Not only can being an active listener help prevent fights, but it can improve the quality of your relationship while simultaneously enhancing many other areas of life. Make it a point to really listen to your partner and show them that you’ve heard their concerns. If your other half tells you about something important to them, ask them questions, be engaged, and value what they’re saying so you can learn more about their thoughts and feelings. Lacking communication skills and not being an active listener in your relationship can cause insecurity in relationships for both partners.

4. Be open about your feelings

It can be tough to be vulnerable, especially when the two of you are constantly fighting. However, opening up about what you feel can help you learn how to stop the cycle of fighting in a relationship. 

When you have the occasional disagreement (which, keep in mind, is totally normal), let them know how it makes you feel. Instead of blaming your partner, use “I feel” statements to express yourself. If you find that your partner is constantly dismissive of your feelings, don’t fall victim to gaslighting in relationships. Don’t let your partner blame you or outside circumstances for something that they caused, or you’ll find yourself in a one-sided relationship. 

5. Pause before you speak

It’s common to say harsh and hurtful things in the heat of the moment, only to regret your words later. When you’re discussing a hot topic, make a point of counting to 3 before you speak. Pressing the pause button can help you avoid hurtful comments that may otherwise escalate an argument into a bad fight.

6. Build healthy communication skills 

Poor communication can cause all kinds of issues in relationships, especially when you’re at odds with your significant other. If you’re able to learn how to communicate in a relationship in a healthy way, though, disagreements can make your relationship stronger. When you talk, make sure both of you are listening and feel heard.

7. Try to be empathetic   

At times, your partner’s behavior may feel outlandish or unreasonable. One good tactic when you’re learning how to stop fighting in a relationship is to try putting yourself in the other person’s shoes and try to understand your partner’s perspective. Instead of becoming defensive, try to understand why they feel the way they do. You may want to ask your partner questions so you can get a better grasp of where they’re coming from that will hopefully lead to finding common ground. 

8. Try couple’s therapy 

There are many strategies that can help you resolve romantic relationship issues, but if you have a lot of bad habits or find that you struggle with having productive conversations, you may need professional help. 

When it comes to how to fix a broken relationship, working with a therapist can help you and your partner begin to recognize unhealthy patterns so you can work together to build a stronger, healthier relationship. If you’ve tried to figure out how to stop arguing in a relationship, and you haven’t had much success, either in-person or online couples counseling might be a great next step.