To gaslight someone means manipulating the individual and making them doubt their own judgment or perception of reality. It is commonly a form of emotional abuse where the gaslighter denies, questions, purposefully forgets and avoids important day-to-day matters. Over time, the person being gaslighted starts doubting their credibility, perception, sanity, and feelings. If you want to know how to gaslight someone, use these gaslighting tactics we have listed in this article. They will help exert power and influence the perception of your family members, friends, partners, and even coworkers. Look at each of them, but first, learn what gaslighting is!
Also Read:Self-Gaslighting: Strategies to End Your Own Psychological Sabotage
Gaslighting Definition And Examples
Curious to know what gaslighting a person means? Gaslighting is a form of manipulation technique that someone uses to question the beliefs and perceptions of another person. It helps a gaslighter deceive others so that the victim doubts what is real or not. It commonly occurs with friends, partners in relationships, and colleagues at the workplace. By taking control and advantage of others using unfair tactics, gaslighting wears down the self-confidence of the victims and leads to confusion and unpredictability of their mental stability. This leaves the victims to depend on the person who is gaslighting them. Here are the common gaslighting examples: shifting blame, denying the truth, disapproval, invalidating emotion, forgetting, and many more.
Why Do People Actually Gaslight?
The goal of the people to gaslight is to seem blameless, create confusion in the mind, weaken resistance, and break another person’s spirit. The process of gaslighting someone is not irregular. Still, it’s a tricky and constant pattern of behavior that questions the sanity of the person around you while gradually lowering their identity and self-esteem. The two reasons are what makes the gaslighters behave like that. It is either because a person intends to take control over their partner, coworker, friends, or family members or because their parents were also gaslighters from where they learned this behavior to survive in any relationship. These people learn from their parents that they can never be wrong and scapegoat(who is blamed for doing wrong). These false beliefs make them believe in disregarding the logic or reasons of another person, see that everyone is either all good or all wrong, and even find difficulty in judging what is right and what is wrong. As a result, gaslighters start behaving the same with others as if everything they know is true.
Also Read:Understanding the Traits of a Female Narcissist
How Does Gaslighting Work?
You might wonder what does it means to gaslight someone and how it works. Well, gaslighting the person means gaining control over another person. It works vigorously by breaking down a person’s belief in themselves and by increasing the trust and dependency of that particular person on a gaslighter. When we talk about relationships, gaslighting starts gradually. The manipulated gaslighter gains the trust of their partner by suggesting they are forgetful, irresponsible, and mentally unstable. The more such mistakes happen, the more the influence and power the abusive gaslighter has over their partners. Over time, the person starts doubting themselves and ends up relying heavily on their manipulated partner to remember memories or make any decisions. Some also feel that they can not quit this relationship. In the end, they begin to trust and find their partner right. Here, learn the best examples and know how to gaslight someone!
Top 10 Examples Of Gaslighting You Can Consider To Gaslight Someone
1. Shifting Blame
What is gaslighting example that can easily gaslight anyone? Shifting blame is one of the common examples of gaslighting. You can twist every discussion, which might make you blame for something that happened. No matter how the person you are gaslighting is feeling about your behavior, you twist the conversation in a way that ends up with the explanation that the cause of that particular situation is the other person only. For instance, you can tell the individual that “if they would not have behaved differently, you would not treat them the way you are doing,You are not making any right sense.” or “You are just trying to confuse me.” This makes the other person think they are the reason for this blame and bad behavior.
Also Read:What Is an Empath? 8 Signs That You Might Be One
2. Countering Memory
What is an example of gaslighting that can help you act against the memory of someone? Well, countering involves turning the memory of another person into question. If someone calls you or asks about something that you said or did, you can change the topic by asking a question instead of replying to that person’s issues. Examples of gaslighting that you can include in your conversation can be, “That’s not what would have happened; you have a poor memory”, “I never said like that! That was only you!” or “That’s what you remember is not at all what I said.” Over time, the other person starts questioning whether they have a bad memory, making them doubt their sanity.
3. Compulsively Lying
If you engage in gaslighting activity, you naturally tend to know how to gaslight as you are a habitual pathological liar and have narcissistic qualities. This means you have no issue lying openly and shamefully about big and small things. Never change your stories or surrender, even if someone calls you out to explain your actions or give proof of your deception. You can use gaslighting phrases like, “You are just making things up,” “You have gone crazy,” or “That has never happened,” Compulsively lying confuses the other person about what actually is right and wrong, due to which they start questioning their reality.
4. Using Compassionate Words
Sometimes, you can use loving and kind words if another person questions or calls out. Compassionate words can be used as a weapon to smooth over any unfair situation. You can use these statements to gaslight someone, including, “You know how much I value you” or “I would never purposely hurt you.” Though these words are inauthentic, especially when you keep repeating the same mistake or behavior, they might please the other person who loves you and wants to hear from you. These loving words may be enough to convince and get out of the trouble. This can allow you to run away from your responsibility or escape the consequences of your evil behavior.
Also Read:How to deal with a narcissistic: Tips according to therapist
5. Denying or Forgetting Incidents
Denying or forgetting incidents is an example of gaslighting, where another person can feel unimportant. You have to pretend like you have forgotten what exactly happened or what you have promised or denied if ever that took place. This can be a tricky gaslighting tactic as you can only prove to another person whether you remember something. The common gaslighting phrases that you can use are “You are just creating stories again to make me look bad.”, “I had never told you this or that!” or “I do not remember when I told you I would help with that.” These phrases make the other person feel guilty about expressing their concern.
6. Withholding Information
Though this example of gaslighting might be more common in workplaces, it can also be in relationships. Withholding occurs when you either do not want to listen to anyone or pretend you do not understand what the other person is saying. As in the workplace, a gaslighter(boss or coworker) may refuse to give information intentionally, and consequently, employees fail to make an effort. The reason can be employees fear clarifying this withheld so as to seem like they need more skills. If they do question their boss or even coworkers, they are blamed or dismissed.
7. Invalidating Emotions
At a fundamental level, invalidating the emotions of someone is another example of gaslighting, especially in a relationship. By constantly disapproving of the emotions and questioning your partner’s judgment, you can eventually force them to accept their character. To make yourself superior and your partner inferior, you can use these common examples of gaslighting phrases, “It’s not that much of a big deal,” “Don’t get so emotional over this,” or “You do not genuinely feel that way,.” These statements will help you make your partners question their own truth and think that being over-emotional is not alright.
8. Diverting or Blocking Questions
You can divert or block the questioning of your partners when they ask for your credibility in your relationship, or you can change the topic when confronted. This makes it challenging for another person to have a conversation and discuss the important matter with you. You can use these phrases to divert or block the discussion which involves, “Is that another one of your friends or family member’s ideas?”, “That’s nonsense you again read on social media,” or “You should stay away from this online platform for a while.” After constantly diverting them to initiate and have a discussion, it may cause a person to drop the topic altogether.
9. Disgracing Character
You can disgrace someone’s character by gossiping and spreading the wrong rumors about them. Just pretend you are concerned, though you are talking about that person’s emotional instability behind them. Unfortunately, this tactic helps you effectively, and most people need to learn the whole story before taking your side. Moreover, you may lie to another person by conveying the information that other people also think the same about them. Although they may have never expressed anything terrible, you can make every effort to get a person to believe you. This can make the person doubt their sentiments and behavior, and you can get the chance to power over them.
10. Dismissing Needs
Dismissing someone’s needs is one of the most common examples of gaslighting in a relationship. Consider ignoring your partner’s needs, which makes them feel unimportant. This way, you can gain power over them. These are the statements you can use, such as “Why are you very sensitive,” “Why are you overreacting,” “You are so needy”? or “Why do you always keep asking me for certain things?” All these statements will force the other person to feel that they are overthinking and prove them wrong. This makes them question and wonder if they are asking much from their partner.
Also Read:Psychopathic Vs Sociopathic: Know The Difference Between The Two?
Summing Up
Gaslighting someone causes people to doubt their sanity or perspective. It can happen in any relationship, whether a coworker, friend, family member, or life partner, but it always involves a power imbalance between the two individuals. As a gaslighter, you may want to control your partner or anyone to make yourself heard and understood. On the other hand, the gaslighted person may feel misunderstood or confused, leading to question their existence. They might find difficulty remembering any memories due to which they become reliant on you.
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