13 Signs It’s Time — Talkspace

5. There’s a Loss of Physical Intimacy

Sexual intimacy is an integral part of many romantic relationships. Problems with physical intimacy can cause frustration, loneliness, and tension, but couples therapy is a great place to address these issues in a safe and supportive environment. Therapists use many techniques to help couples regain a physical and intimate connection.

Exercises that foster physical connection

• Breathing exercises: Face each other with your foreheads lightly touching. Close your eyes and breathe deeply at the same time. 
• The long cuddle: Make time to cuddle — 30 minutes is a great start — at night or in the mornings to bond and feel connected to your partner.
• The soul gaze: Sit facing one another and stare into each other’s eyes. While it may seem silly at first, think that you’re looking into the window of your partner’s soul. 
• Active listening: For 3 – 5 minutes, one person shares whatever they want — things that are frustrating, things that have been hurtful, or anything else — while the other listens without saying anything. At the end of the time, the listener can respond. 
• Sleep in the nude: Sleeping without clothes on has both physical and emotional benefits. Skin-on-skin contact can release the hormone oxytocin — also known as the love hormone. Research shows oxytocin plays a role in sexual behavior. 
• 3 things: Each of you should come up with 3 things you want to ask the other. Questions can be about anything from what restaurants you want to eat at to things you want to do together in the next month. 
• No phones in bed: Ditching the phones in the bedroom will encourage you to have deeper conversations with one another. 

6. A Major Life Transition is Putting Stress on Your Relationship

Major life transitions — relocation, parenthood, or job loss — can cause tension in relationships. These shifts may result in stress that could, in turn, damage your relationship. Experiences that negatively affect your relationship after a life event could be a sign that you need marriage counseling.  

Relationship therapy can be effective in helping you navigate life’s challenges together by providing tools for managing stress and improving communication.

7. You’re Growing Apart

Sometimes it can be hard to gauge when to get couples counseling because you’ve been growing apart so slowly that you might not even recognize it. Distance in a relationship can be indicative of something more serious, though. Couples therapy can be a productive space to discuss your needs openly and honestly as you explore ways to reconnect and find a middle ground.

In a couples counseling session, you’ll focus on remembering those shared values and interests you might have lost sight of at some point. Then, you and your partner can work to reignite that spark that initially brought you together.

8. One of You Considered or Had an Affair

Infidelity can devastate both people in a relationship, causing feelings of betrayal, anger, sadness, resentment, and loss. Addressing the emotional toll and challenges is essential.

Couples therapy gives you the opportunity to openly discuss your thoughts and emotions related to the affair. A skilled therapist will help you explore underlying issues that may have contributed to the infidelity and facilitate honest, productive communication.

• Identify root causes: Understanding why an affair happened is crucial for rebuilding trust. Therapy can uncover unmet needs or unresolved conflicts that may have led one partner to seek comfort outside the relationship.
• Rebuild trust: Regaining trust after an affair takes time, effort, and commitment from both partners. A couples therapist will guide you through the process by enforcing transparency, accountability, empathy, and understanding.
• Strengthen communication skills: Open dialogue about your feelings about the affair can foster healing. Couples therapy teaches effective communication techniques so everyone feels heard without fear of judgment or blame.

While it can be difficult, it’s possible that you can both overcome infidelity with the help of couples therapy.

9. There Are Unresolved Past Issues

You can’t underestimate the impact of unresolved past issues on a relationship’s ability to move forward. Couples therapy is a structured and supportive environment to address and heal wounds. This process encourages you to understand each other’s perspectives while working towards a resolution.

“Sometimes, personal or combined past issues hinder the positive movement of a relationship. We often call it ‘baggage’ when it’s an individual issue that prohibits the growth of a relationship. However, it could also mean that sometime during the life of the relationship, some unresolved negative situation/emotion occurred that makes it difficult to move forward. Working with a professional in either scenario can help as a couple helps one another foster the desired growth and confidence within the relationship.”

– Talkspace therapist Minkyung Chung, MS, LMHC

10. You’re Having Financial Conflicts

Research shows that financial conflicts are among the most common relationship challenges, affecting trust, communication, and overall satisfaction. In fact, it’s one of the most common couples therapy topics discussed with professionals. Therapy can help you navigate money problems by improving financial communication skills and teamwork.  

A therapist can facilitate open discussions about values, beliefs, and expectations surrounding finances so you each can understand where the other is coming from.

Addressing financial issues in a relationship 

• Identify emotional issues: Therapy helps uncover any deep-rooted emotional concerns related to finances.
• Create a shared vision: A therapist can guide you in creating financial goals based on mutual understanding and respect for each other.
• Promote teamwork: By working together as a team to manage finances, couples can strengthen their bond and minimize money stress.
• Foster healthy communication patterns: You can work with a therapist to learn how to discuss money openly without it becoming an argument every time.

11. You’re Facing Parenting Challenges

The unique challenges of parenting often lead to conflict in a relationship. By seeking couples therapy, you can improve dynamics, resolve disputes, and create a unified approach to parenting. 

Benefits of couples counseling for parenting challenges

• Improve communication skills: Therapy helps you learn to express thoughts and feelings openly without fear of judgment or criticism.
• Foster empathy: Understanding each other is essential in resolving conflicts related to parenting.
• Develop effective problem-solving strategies: Therapy teaches you how to approach problems collaboratively rather than defensively or combatively.
• Promote consistency in co-parenting: Consistency is vital when raising children. Working together as a team will keep you on the same page regarding expectations and boundaries.

12. One or Both of You Want a Separation or Divorce

If separation or divorce is on the table, therapy can be a valuable place to determine if there’s any potential for saving your marriage or relationship. Whatever happens, a therapist can offer guidance and support to ensure a healthier transition if you decide to part ways. Couples therapy can help you find acceptance in whatever the future holds. 

Explore the reasons behind the decision

You’ll have the chance to delve into the reasons for separation or divorce. This process will help you gain insight into each other’s feelings. A professional therapist can guide you through productive conversations as you come to a resolution.

Find solutions together

Couples therapy is about more than just identifying issues. Your therapist will work with you and your partner to develop strategies for addressing concerns, improving communication, and rebuilding trust together.

Navigate separation or divorce process healthily

If, after exploring the relationship, you decide that divorce is the best option, having professional guidance can ensure healthier transitions for everyone. The emotional turmoil associated with ending a long-term partnership can be overwhelming, but working with a skilled therapist can help you navigate this difficult time.

13. You Want a Healthier Relationship

Couples therapy isn’t just for people experiencing significant issues in their relationship. It can also be great for people who want to maintain or strengthen their connection or work towards relationship goals. By seeking professional guidance from therapists — like those available through Talkspace — you can build upon your foundation and create an even stronger bond with your partner.

“There’s this mentality that couples therapy is a last-ditch effort to save a relationship. This isn’t always the case. Some couples seek therapy together to ‘check in’ with one another but also discuss anything that may be of concern in a safe and neutral environment. Some clients choose to do so before going into a long-term committed relationship like marriage or civil unions.”

– Talkspace therapist Minkyung Chung, MS, LMHC

Strengthen Your Relationship with Talkspace

If you’ve felt that you’re growing apart, but you want to make things work, consider seeking professional support with Talkspace. Online therapy can offer insights into strengthening your bond as you navigate any challenges along the way.